Holding Out for a Hero
by Skate-815
Summary: Sam's in bed with Stuart. So why is she thinking about Phil? Lyrics from the song Holding out for a hero from shrek 2. tis a oneshot, songfic. Please R


**it's not the best thing in the world, but its not terrible either. Lyrics coming from 'Holding Out for a Hero' which is in the Shrek 2 film. **

**Holding out for a hero**

_Where have all the good men gone  
And where are all the gods?  
Where's the street-wise Hercules  
To fight the rising odds?  
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
Late at night I toss and turn and dream  
of what I need  
_

I wake up from another nightmare, and I turn, needing to be reassured that everything's okay. That Abi isn't missing anymore, that Alan Kennedy can't hurt me or that Dennis Weaver isn't standing behind me, holding a gun, waiting to end mine, or Phil's life. However there is no comfort waiting there, because I now sleep in my king sized bed with Stuart, not Phil, and although he tries, he can't help me, because he doesn't know what I've been through. Only one man knows that, and I dumped him.

_I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life  
_

Phil Hunter, he loved to play my hero, my knight in shining armour. He could be so aggressive, it was a wonder he never got in trouble for police brutality, but with me he was different. Kind, loving and sensitive, eternally looking after me at the expense of his own safety, be it when we were enemies in those tunnels, or lovers in Romania. I could always rely on him to be there at my lowest points, and try it on with me at my highest. Ironically, it was then I found myself too good for him, and we would have fallen into bed a lot quicker if he'd ever kissed me when Abi was missing, or any other time of crisis for me.

_Somewhere after midnight  
In my wildest fantasy  
Somewhere just beyond my reach  
There's someone reaching back for me  
Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat  
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet _

I know what I'm doing's wrong. I shouldn't spend my nights thinking of Phil Hunter while I'm in bed with Stuart. I've made my choice, after breaking both their hearts along the way, and I should stick to it. So why do I want to throttle Stuart every time I catch Phil looking at us sadly when he thinks we're not paying attention? Why do I wake up after every nightmare, expecting Phil in my bed instead of Stuart? Why am I with the man I like, when I could be with the man I love? Why am I with the man who hides from disputes when I could be with the man who fights my every battle for me?

_Up where the mountains meet the heavens above  
Out where the lightning splits the sea  
I would swear that there's someone somewhere  
Watching me_

He stares at me in the daytime, so much I'm worried he'll lose his job. He didn't make his quota for arrests this year. Something I teased him about, and we ended up betting over it. I, of course won. When it comes to himself, Phil over estimates every time. Three arrests in one night were just short of impossible. Still, it did earn me twenty quid and a play fight, with lots of unnecessary touching from Phil. I laughed more in that night than I had in a long time, but it just helped me disguise the truth from myself for that little bit longer. Phil cares about me too much. It's affecting his work, and that's the real reason I dumped him. Not to save him from himself, but to save him from me.

_Through the wind end the chill and the rain  
And the storm and the flood  
I can feel his approach  
Like the fire in my blood_

My dumping of him as made matters worse all round now. He's even more distracted, Stuart thinks I love him, and I'm miserable in a relationship I fell into by accident. I sometimes find myself willing an emergency to rear its head, just so Phil can come back into his role as the hero, the knight in shining armour, and protect me. Just so things can go back to the way they should be. The way they were before I dumped him. Before Romania. Before Stuart. But those days are long gone, and we can never go back to them now. But that doesn't stop me wishing that they could.

_I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life_

So all that I can do is lie here trying to ignore Stuart's snores, and wait for the miracle or catastrophe I need to bring my hero back to me.

**tell me what you think**


End file.
